TEST-BLINKIEGODDESS IMAGE

checking out the blog features still, seeing if i can add personal interest items in the post such as this BLINKIE. i got to express my blogging.

MICHELLE

STARTED THE ROUTINE TODAY..well, kinda

i officially started the "routine" to change my life today.

well,sorta. i got on the wagon, and fell off in less than 24 hours.
im a pure addict to food!

i had asked craig to go get me some chips and dip the other day (when we were still in december 2006). i asked for guacamole specifically. thats all. he and daniel went to the store for some other stuff, and he came home with 3 bags of chips and about every concievable dip walmart carries.

i had 2 days to try to consume it all. and i diodnt succeed in the effort. i STILL have chips and dip to get rid of.
we were supposed to go to a couples home last night (new years eve) to watch the CHUCKY series of movies. but the husband ended up not feeling well.
i was going to take the chips and dip to thier place and let them eat the stuff..just to get it out of my life. well, that was busted and the crap stayed here...calling my name out, wanting me to eat it.

we did go out last night and i was pretty good about NOT endulging to much out of my norm. but yesterday was also the last day of december and i wanst on a "routine" to change my ife then. so what fench fries i ate, DO NOT COUNT today!lol

we did go out to eat today...
to a really neat place i ador called: SOUPER!SALAD! (its a pun: soup or salad or even: super salad) where they have a SALAD BAR, a SOUP BAR, a BREAD BAR,and DESERT BAR.

i had a LARGE saladm and a cup of potato soup, and a cup of lentil soup. NO BREAD. and water. the guy had to refill my glass 3 times!
we had also gone right after that to BARNES AND NOBLE to look for a cookbook advertised on a tv show i was watching eight before we left: THE BIGGEST LOOSER COOKBOOK. we got it.
recipes all look really delicious, and easy to prepare. my kinda cooking!

so im excited about getting that started up as well.

i also got (for christmas) from my mother-in-law a dvd on exercizing..thats really helpful. havnt viewd it yet, but ANYTHING is better than nothing in this quest.

also got brand new walking shoes so i can start to walk around the block, or a park or something. have to get moving...its esential to the effort to loosing weight.

so, the plans set..now all i need is the motivation to DO the plan.

MICHELLE

THANK YOU MALAN BRETON !!!!

last year (seems like just a few days...lol, maybe becuase it was) i was struggling with a title i wanted to call this blog/journal.

i have a friend from the tv show :PROJECT RUNWAY named: MALAN BRETON. and we chat occassionaly thru our MYSPACE accounts we both have. hes an awsome fella! quite the gentleman and charmer. and so very down to earth!

at any rate, hes always so positive in any reply he writes back to me on. and quite prompt most of the time, might i add! and because hes so.....full of life and giving of his "light" within himself, i thought to ask him for a title to this blog. i never thought in a million years hed ever really respond to the question.

he has a fahion buisness to run, and id think my small quibits of life and challenges would simply go unknoticed by him. i was wrong.

he wrote me back, saying he wasnt the best at naming things but thought: THE JOURNEY TO ME was nice.
he was right, it is!

so, this post, goes out to MALAN!

thank you dear friend for setting the foundation for this blogs accomplishments!

i have a name for it, because of you! thanks for being my friend! it means more than youll ever know to me!

MICHELLE in OKLAHOMA
~~a fan~~

if your interested in seeing MALANS fashions, heres his link:
www.malanbreton.com

he doesnt dress for MY body size, but his hearts big enough to hug the world! hes one great fella!

THE WEIGHTLOSS BLOG

HI! WELCOME to my blog about MY personal struggle with the demon closest to me..obesity.

i have created this blog to document the struggle i face daily, often hourly.

if your reading this, its because i selected you among several ppl i know personally whom i thought may want to witness, and draw strength from, as well as encourage me along this path, im choosing to call: LIFE-MIND CHANGING BEHAVIORS.
i dont want to call it : DIETING....for some reason that word alone makes me think of failure.

im not looking to fail anymore, im looking to try to suceed at this for once and for all.

my struggle with this beast has been a life long one.


i cant recall a time when i wasnt concidered: "chubby" "big boned" "fat" "large" or now, politicaly correct: "PLUS SIZED". im really beyond all that. im morbidly obese.

i want to thank my aunt lynn for showing me that fact. i really didnt know i was until we were discussing her attempts to have gastric bypass, and she said i should concider it myself.
i was flabbergasted, i didnt understand why shed think such a thing.
in my mind, i wasnt as big as you all see me to be.
she quite frankly put it in as clear a manner as she could for me, she didnt suger coat ANYTHING and said:
" because, your morbidly obese."
i sat in shock, slightly offended, but in shock.
could i REALLY be, like all those other ppl i shook my head at and said they were?
surely, i wasnt. i didnt see myself that way. how could that be true?

i went home, and looked at myself naked, in the mirror and what i saw looking back at me wasnt the same person i saw inside myself. that person looking back at me was a ....stranger. i didnt know her. where did she come from?

i can tell you honestly, she came from years (a lifetime really) of bad behaviors, and eating habits. and she camr like a thief in the night, many many hyears ago and stole my life from me.

i feel im ready to claim it back.

but i have HELL to go thru before i can. she didnt leave, she doesnt want to let go. shes determined to saty here, but she cant.

im 40 this month. and any longer being morbidly obese could possibly kill me. my sons only 12 and he has been a stable force in my life to direct alot of my areas of being, thinking, and attitudes towards things. i owe it to him to try to be the best person i can be, which includes....the healthiest as well. hell grow up, get married, have kids.

i might not be here to witness those terrific life-changing events hell encounter. and i should be. his children, my grandchildren, may never know me....
that pulls a hard cord for me, because i was able to live with mine for several years, and the impact they left in my life is inmeasurable. i am a better person for thier influence in my life.
i owe it to them to try to make my life as long as possible.

i lost my mother several years ago. she also shaped the person i am. as the only main influence i had for many many years, i learnd about the mind, and human behaviors from her (she was a pyshcologist). she was always on me about my weight.
i owe it to her as well. to carry on her genes, to be the best person i am. to go forward, never looking back. to make my way THRU the world, perhaps struggling, but the effort would be worth it to discover the inner me, stuck deep inside.

walk with me, run with me....cry with me, celebrate with me.....watch me attempt to defeat this addicition.

i will post pictures and video clips as i make them...for you to share the progress.

ill post recipes, and health tips i find along the route, maybe youll need help too.

we can build eachother up! im here for you as well.

thanks for having the interest to want to read this blog. it means alot to me that you do.

someone once said:
"the journey of a thousand miles, starts with one step."
im taking that step.....walk with me.

MICHELLE.