THE WEIGHTLOSS BLOG

HI! WELCOME to my blog about MY personal struggle with the demon closest to me..obesity.

i have created this blog to document the struggle i face daily, often hourly.

if your reading this, its because i selected you among several ppl i know personally whom i thought may want to witness, and draw strength from, as well as encourage me along this path, im choosing to call: LIFE-MIND CHANGING BEHAVIORS.
i dont want to call it : DIETING....for some reason that word alone makes me think of failure.

im not looking to fail anymore, im looking to try to suceed at this for once and for all.

my struggle with this beast has been a life long one.


i cant recall a time when i wasnt concidered: "chubby" "big boned" "fat" "large" or now, politicaly correct: "PLUS SIZED". im really beyond all that. im morbidly obese.

i want to thank my aunt lynn for showing me that fact. i really didnt know i was until we were discussing her attempts to have gastric bypass, and she said i should concider it myself.
i was flabbergasted, i didnt understand why shed think such a thing.
in my mind, i wasnt as big as you all see me to be.
she quite frankly put it in as clear a manner as she could for me, she didnt suger coat ANYTHING and said:
" because, your morbidly obese."
i sat in shock, slightly offended, but in shock.
could i REALLY be, like all those other ppl i shook my head at and said they were?
surely, i wasnt. i didnt see myself that way. how could that be true?

i went home, and looked at myself naked, in the mirror and what i saw looking back at me wasnt the same person i saw inside myself. that person looking back at me was a ....stranger. i didnt know her. where did she come from?

i can tell you honestly, she came from years (a lifetime really) of bad behaviors, and eating habits. and she camr like a thief in the night, many many hyears ago and stole my life from me.

i feel im ready to claim it back.

but i have HELL to go thru before i can. she didnt leave, she doesnt want to let go. shes determined to saty here, but she cant.

im 40 this month. and any longer being morbidly obese could possibly kill me. my sons only 12 and he has been a stable force in my life to direct alot of my areas of being, thinking, and attitudes towards things. i owe it to him to try to be the best person i can be, which includes....the healthiest as well. hell grow up, get married, have kids.

i might not be here to witness those terrific life-changing events hell encounter. and i should be. his children, my grandchildren, may never know me....
that pulls a hard cord for me, because i was able to live with mine for several years, and the impact they left in my life is inmeasurable. i am a better person for thier influence in my life.
i owe it to them to try to make my life as long as possible.

i lost my mother several years ago. she also shaped the person i am. as the only main influence i had for many many years, i learnd about the mind, and human behaviors from her (she was a pyshcologist). she was always on me about my weight.
i owe it to her as well. to carry on her genes, to be the best person i am. to go forward, never looking back. to make my way THRU the world, perhaps struggling, but the effort would be worth it to discover the inner me, stuck deep inside.

walk with me, run with me....cry with me, celebrate with me.....watch me attempt to defeat this addicition.

i will post pictures and video clips as i make them...for you to share the progress.

ill post recipes, and health tips i find along the route, maybe youll need help too.

we can build eachother up! im here for you as well.

thanks for having the interest to want to read this blog. it means alot to me that you do.

someone once said:
"the journey of a thousand miles, starts with one step."
im taking that step.....walk with me.

MICHELLE.